Two of his original songs from around 2006
Sonntag, 3. Oktober 2010
Samstag, 2. Oktober 2010
A Rock Star in his Korean Cage
When I entered the gloomy rock-pub, “Woodstock”, in Itaewon I immediately heard a band playing rock ballads. While drinking a “Cass” I got lost in the pitch- black eyes of the Korean singer.
The band “Like a Fox” performs a song from the Korean band "Crying Nuts". The singer looks so focused. His eyes always seem serious. It seems like he isn’t on stage in that moment. When you watch the original video clip of this song, you see a funky rocker rocking on stage. What I see during his performance is more than rock. It is an attempt to work out his past. In the refrain, he shouts out of his soul: "Don’t go". His voice is so rough and full of feeling that I get goose bumps. It seems as if he is feeling and living the lyrics behind this song. His fingers glide over the guitar strings so intensely and his voice seems to become more and more of a desperate cry trying to stop somebody.
Maybe in this moment he experienced the day on which he was told that his father was killed. When he finished high school his father was mysteriously found in his car with a bleeding wound on the back of his head. Maybe it was a rubbery murder. Maybe it was an accident with a fleeing culprit. Maybe there were other personal or criminal reasons behind this cruel and unclear case. The father left two sons and a wife. The relationship between Doo and his father was good, even though he was an alcoholic. I asked him for the reason for his addiction and he replied, "No Money!" His father often came to Doo after drinking to play with him or for simple chatting. He was never aggressive when he was drunk. Maybe Doo is trying to scream for him to come back to life during his intensive singing performance.
Perhaps, the moment while he was singing, he was experiencing the day that he found his friend dead in his apartment. On the evening that his best friend drank too much alcohol, because he was dumped by his girlfriend, he called Doo asking if he wanted to join him drinking. Doo had no time. In his friend’s drunkenness he had taken too many drugs which stole his body’s life. Many people thought it was not his intention to commit suicide. Doo constantly thinks, “What would have been happened if I had gone with him? Would he be still alive now?” Perhaps he feels guilt and tries to that scream him back to life while singing, “Don’t go!”
Doo then begins the second song, "With our without you", by U2 with a long gaze at the floor. The tranquil sounds of the guitars are still in harmony with this gesture. He gently caresses his guitar before he takes a deep breath and walks to the microphone. He holds the microphone tightly and starts singing. His voice sounds deep and pure. His eyes are still closed. I feel a longing in his voice, a longing to have an easier life, his desire for security, the fear of the future, the fear of his own existence because of his profession being a musician. Although he earns no money with his music, he always responds that he is a musician when others ask him. He says that his dreams in life are to have "a house, family and health. And that I can earn money with my music."
After half of the concert, the drummer and singer change their roles. Doo takes his stick and opens one of the band’s original songs, "How I Lost You". His moves are fast, clear and strong. I try to catch his eyes, but they are shut too tight. His head moves with the rhythm hard. I become dizzy watching him. It seems that he is drumming in ecstasy. “Drumming is my way to get away from all of it…”
It seems that he was trying to drum away his problems, frustration and disappointment. He might be frustrated because he had to quit his studies at the Seoul National University of Technology, 2002, to support his family by doing a variety of jobs after his father’s death. He collected garbage in the streets of
Seoul. He worked as a bartender and practiced every day swirling bottles and glasses for one year and eight month without any holidays. He drove taxis and taught Koreans how to ski. He worked hard in factories producing lightening pens at the assembly line, and spent hours behind the computer doing boring office work. For three months, he worked as funeral cosmetician. He saw water corpses with swollen faces and cold meat with severed limbs. He sewed the limbs together and tried to make the swollen faces passably human.
The band “Like a Fox” performs a song from the Korean band "Crying Nuts". The singer looks so focused. His eyes always seem serious. It seems like he isn’t on stage in that moment. When you watch the original video clip of this song, you see a funky rocker rocking on stage. What I see during his performance is more than rock. It is an attempt to work out his past. In the refrain, he shouts out of his soul: "Don’t go". His voice is so rough and full of feeling that I get goose bumps. It seems as if he is feeling and living the lyrics behind this song. His fingers glide over the guitar strings so intensely and his voice seems to become more and more of a desperate cry trying to stop somebody.
Maybe in this moment he experienced the day on which he was told that his father was killed. When he finished high school his father was mysteriously found in his car with a bleeding wound on the back of his head. Maybe it was a rubbery murder. Maybe it was an accident with a fleeing culprit. Maybe there were other personal or criminal reasons behind this cruel and unclear case. The father left two sons and a wife. The relationship between Doo and his father was good, even though he was an alcoholic. I asked him for the reason for his addiction and he replied, "No Money!" His father often came to Doo after drinking to play with him or for simple chatting. He was never aggressive when he was drunk. Maybe Doo is trying to scream for him to come back to life during his intensive singing performance.
Perhaps, the moment while he was singing, he was experiencing the day that he found his friend dead in his apartment. On the evening that his best friend drank too much alcohol, because he was dumped by his girlfriend, he called Doo asking if he wanted to join him drinking. Doo had no time. In his friend’s drunkenness he had taken too many drugs which stole his body’s life. Many people thought it was not his intention to commit suicide. Doo constantly thinks, “What would have been happened if I had gone with him? Would he be still alive now?” Perhaps he feels guilt and tries to that scream him back to life while singing, “Don’t go!”
Doo then begins the second song, "With our without you", by U2 with a long gaze at the floor. The tranquil sounds of the guitars are still in harmony with this gesture. He gently caresses his guitar before he takes a deep breath and walks to the microphone. He holds the microphone tightly and starts singing. His voice sounds deep and pure. His eyes are still closed. I feel a longing in his voice, a longing to have an easier life, his desire for security, the fear of the future, the fear of his own existence because of his profession being a musician. Although he earns no money with his music, he always responds that he is a musician when others ask him. He says that his dreams in life are to have "a house, family and health. And that I can earn money with my music."
After half of the concert, the drummer and singer change their roles. Doo takes his stick and opens one of the band’s original songs, "How I Lost You". His moves are fast, clear and strong. I try to catch his eyes, but they are shut too tight. His head moves with the rhythm hard. I become dizzy watching him. It seems that he is drumming in ecstasy. “Drumming is my way to get away from all of it…”
It seems that he was trying to drum away his problems, frustration and disappointment. He might be frustrated because he had to quit his studies at the Seoul National University of Technology, 2002, to support his family by doing a variety of jobs after his father’s death. He collected garbage in the streets of
Seoul. He worked as a bartender and practiced every day swirling bottles and glasses for one year and eight month without any holidays. He drove taxis and taught Koreans how to ski. He worked hard in factories producing lightening pens at the assembly line, and spent hours behind the computer doing boring office work. For three months, he worked as funeral cosmetician. He saw water corpses with swollen faces and cold meat with severed limbs. He sewed the limbs together and tried to make the swollen faces passably human.
He tries to drum away his frustration by rebelling against his own culture. He loves naturalness even within a society that approximately 12% of the female population already have plastic surgery. He lives in a place where appearance and the fashion are the highest priority. He likes his girlfriend’s curvy body in a country where the ideal of women’s beauty is similar to a chopstick. He enjoys spending time in Itaewon, the foreigner’s district of Seoul. A large proportion of his friends are Americans, Canadians and Europeans. His girlfriend is also European. He is extremely addicted to collecting things from Germany. Maybe he protests against Korea because he wasn’t accepted by its culture. In Korea, you are only of little of value if you fail to graduate, obtain a successful job, a wife or children and when you call yourself a musician.
Normally, you would expect movement on stage from a rock band. Rocker ought to perform on stage and entertain the audience. But Doo is mostly serious. "I rarely laugh." If he does laugh, it sounds like a false laugh, and it would be a lie. He is often depressed and negative, but in a way he still entertains the audience. You even believe his singing. When he sings about people who are saying, “They had been better to be dead in “Rockin’ In The Free World”, he knows what he is singing about.
In a way, his singing really is honest. His depressing and negative feelings shown through his singing can be based from an experience he had years ago. In 1992, Doo had an unbelievable experience with death. As a 10 year-old boy, he was at a show when the Stuntman lost control of his car and drove into the crowd. 16 people were seriously injured in this accident. Doo stood in the front and was pronounced clinically dead for 72 hours. In this time, Doo says that his grandfather appeared and called to him. He can remember every detail precisely. He says that a voice appeared asking if he were afraid. He replied, "No, I'm not afraid." Miraculously, he was revived and came back to life. Before this accident, Doo was an anxious, tearful boy, who could not sleep alone. This experience changed his life. After, he was brave and fearless. He often beat others up at school and his father had to regularly appear due to his son’s incorrect behaviour. To this date, after the accident and the transformation in his personality, he rarely feels fear, sadness or deep feelings. The accident has affected his ability to feel. Maybe this accident prepared him to endure all the psychologically wrecking life stages. I told Doo about these thoughts. He just added, “My name stands for <Never falling knight>…”
When he sings it seems like his whole past and the anxiety is gathered in his eyes and streams out with his singing. Now that I have heard his story, all of his music and actions merge into harmonious sounds. I can see him sewing limbs, lying in intensive care unit, sitting in his father’s funeral and calling the police because of his friend’s suicide. All of these pieces of him are absorbed in his honest and intensely real performance.
When he sings it seems like his whole past and the anxiety is gathered in his eyes and streams out with his singing. Now that I have heard his story, all of his music and actions merge into harmonious sounds. I can see him sewing limbs, lying in intensive care unit, sitting in his father’s funeral and calling the police because of his friend’s suicide. All of these pieces of him are absorbed in his honest and intensely real performance.
Abonnieren
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